week one completed. no bumps or bruises. no anxiety, no stress.
a successful conclusion to a quite nervous introduction.
So this week went quite well. I only got lost twice, only almost ran into people like five times, witnessed some kid do drugs, and have listened to about 2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 bad words. haha But on a lighter note, i have made several friends in every class, made friends with all my teachers, and won the nobel peace prize! okay well maybe that last one isnt totally true... but i am really having a lot of fun.
thursday, february 4th, 2010.
side parking lot, 11:26am, lunch time. twelfth parking spot from the left.
hahaha okay ill get to the point...
im sitting in my car eatin lunch real quick, so i can scurry in and get caught up on some math assignments from the previous couple weeks in the first semester so i'd understand what we're doin now,, in class... so im observing my surroundings, grass, truck with nice rims, naked tree, bus stop, kids flirting, car with a bad paint job, side of the building, trash cans, kid trying to be secretive, another car..... rewind,,, whats that kid doin!! i watch,, curiosity peaks,, he looks around to see if anyone is watching. he's alone. unwitnessed. oh wait,, yikes, imma witness, but he doesnt know that. he pulls out of his pocket a folded napkin or paper or baggy or somethin... unfolds it in his left palm, pinches the small contents of his napkin with his right index finger and thumb. raises pinched fingers to his nose... oh no dont do it dont do it!!! put it back u still have time! im silent. he inhales deeply, a few times, repeated. wipes his face off, replaces his folded napkin or paper or w/e back into his pocket. i dont believe my eyes. did i really just witness this? i watch him walk over to the naked tree and lays beneath. i got out of my car and locked it. i waltzed across the parking lot, attempted to find the restroom, yet failed. come back to my car for the remainder of the lunch break. by this time he is standing up, still under the tree. staring quite passionately at the invisible bird he seemed to be studying, that sit upon the highest branch of the tree. In a daze, gazing off into another world, he was not himself. i watch him stand there another moment, he screams! then is still and quiet again, still gazing.. i gave up insanity watching and walked to class. never will i forget that experience. one black, confused, and unhappy limb on the tree of the world,, all i've known or been able to know up until this point were the good limbs on the tree, the fruit, the living side of the tree. i've always been shielded from the dead part of the tree, with no fruit, no leaves, just dark limbs with decaying matter laiden upon them. well may this be your wake up call. Here is black limb number 1.
I found it quite interesting that a very very large number of students dont take a class during the 7th or 8th block. which means that they then get out of school at 2:35 or earlier everyday instead of 3:56. I however, have a 7th block. my english class. quite small class to be honest. i like it. my teacher is more of a natural kinda earthy type of woman, calm and collective, not married, but overall a very nice lady. When my bell rings at 3:56, i open the door to leave and i see maybe twenty people in the courtyard, as opposed to twenty hundred thousand people like there would be between classes at any other time of the day. yeah i get it, people hate school and want to get out of school early, yeah whatever. but i honestly dont mind having a seventh block, i make the most out of my day that way. and when it's over, i enjoy a calm, quiet, brisk walk down the hallway only occupied by a few other students in my class. its peaceful and i enjoy ending the day on that note.
I honestly really do enjoy it at this school. Every adult i had talked to, played it out that public school was a mighty great evil and at all costs, avoid it. I believed them for sixteen years. I believe deep within me that those sixteen years were truly beneficial to my life as i stand before you now. If i hadn't grown up in a christian home, in a christian elementary school, middle school, and into high school, i tell u the truth, i would not be the person i am today. The world, it is true, is not a wholesome and good place. it is corrupt and rotting, and only getting worse. I see children grow up in these days and how they act, how they act toward each other, adults, authorities... Im grateful beyond belief that God provided funds for my education and growth in a christian, sheltering environment. you truly grow up with a different frame of mind, of self worth, of your priorities, of respect, i could go on and on of all the good things private school has done for me. yet there is also a negative side to that same private school program. I dont think that it is in your best interest (im not speaking to everyone) to stay in your private circle of Christians all your life. your private school, sheltered home, all key factors in keeping you naive, innocent, and uneducated in how to deal with the real world. I believe fully that at this point in my life, i am strong enough in my faith, strong enough in WHO I AM, that i can begin to face real world situations and using every good and useful thing i've learned growing up, i can say no to certain things and yes to others. the same thing goes for finding the right group of people to hang out with. please dont use the excuse that they are the only friends you have and cant make any others and even though they arent christian and kinda do bad stuff a lot, doesnt mean ur gonna do that too cause ur not like that. yet u surround urself only with those influences? i begin to question u. ill speak from my own life, because that's the only thing i know for certain. I make friends easily, be nice, be silly, be respectful, concerned, caring,,, be yourself! im nice to everyone, im friends with all who are around me, yet i do not choose to constantly surround myself with those people if their actions are not in my best interests. Still be kind and Christ-like, yes. but you need strong influences to guide you and encourage you in your faith and in your life for that matter.
All im saying is that, yes there is evil out there, darkness,, and yeah we all hear about it sometime,, but what im advising you to do is to be a light. then find other lights and join together and radiate in a dark world. people living in the dark who experience your kindness, your God given grace, you love and they begin to see your radiant light, they are going to ask you questions. "whats with you?" "why are u so happy all the time?" "why are u so kind to everyone?" "i've never heard you say anything bad against someone.. i dont get it??" they are curious now, with God's help, you've planted a seed in their life. now you answer,, give all credit to the Creator. He begins to water the seed.
The Lord is a Gardener. He allows his children (us) to spread the pollen or the seeds (His Word) to all the corners of the whole garden (the world), He tucks them in (into the hearts men) or into the ground. Then has all his children water them (dont stop preaching). Eventually a bud will form and a flower burst forth from it into his beautiful garden. How big can we make His garden? How many flowers can we help to water?
Who do you choose to surround yourself with?
Are you a light for God in this dark world?
Are u still leaving doors open for God to work through you, in the lives of those all around you?
Do u choose to go outside yourself and your comfort zone to just talk to someone, and get to know them? you never know what someone is going through from day to day.
"...faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is LOVE."
Be blessed,
-Taelor
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